i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
