I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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