This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she told me i tasted like america
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
