random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
