pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
