Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
