i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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