You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
