i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My bed smells like the plague
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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