I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
