He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
