hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
