i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize