Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
