I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
