At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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