my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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