also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
