Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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