I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize