i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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