so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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