I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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