This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
