I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
