At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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