You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
