ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
