Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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