Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
