oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Pants are for mortals
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
