ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
