Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
