i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
