what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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