I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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