I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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