just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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