Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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