what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
