i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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