It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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