My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
