I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize