that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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