Non-Jews are for practice
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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