for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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