When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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