Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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