My Higher Power is John Stamos
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
