matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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