i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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