I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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