And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
