We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
