Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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