Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
as a side note pls kill me
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