Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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