My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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