i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
