doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
