Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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