can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
