Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize