Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
