I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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