I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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